shaeberry | I'm getting really excited about the Tonies, guys.

So... I'm gonna sort of blog, in a way.

Seriously, though, I'm getting so dorky excited, mostly because I've seen a hell of a lot of the shows this year, which is new, and there is a Rent anniversary performance, which I am undoubtedly going to laugh at a lot. But Dee will be there! And I am rooting for Patti so hardcore for Best Actress, you don't even know.

LION KING. I actually started bawling during this song when I saw this show. It was a little lame, but, oh well.

That was the greatest opening ever.

I maintain that Julie Taymor is a genius.

EDIT #1:

Well, that was epic.

And I missed MLP!!! How?!?!

Dan Radcliffe, what the hell are you doing here? No one invited you, goddamn.

Shit, there is going to be SO MUCH AWESOME TONIGHT. I can't even stand it. I am already in love with this Tonies.

EDIT #2

Laurence Fishburne!!! Maybe Gina Torres is there!!

Best Supporting Actress- Play
NOOOOOOOOOO. MARTHA PLIMPTON. SHE WAS UNBELIEVABLE. At least it went to Rondi Reed, who was absolutely fabulous.

...She looks like my 8th grade science teacher.

Cry-Baby performance:
John Waters is kind of... it's rape o'clock.

Hmmm, I don't know. Nice dancing, but I'm not a fan, really. And I have no idea what is going on. What the hell is on their feet?

Mel Says: Those are some stylish prison uniforms.

EDIT #3

Laura Linney! She is just the cutest of cute.

Best Supporting Actor- Play

Um, well, really. If Raul doesn't win, I will...

SHIT. WHAT IS WITH RAUL GETTING GYPPED EVERY SINGLE TIME. MY GOD. SERIOUSLY?!?! SO ANGRY. I DON'T LIKE YOU, TONY AWARDS.

Passing Strange performance:
I think I kinda dig... but I kind of don't understand what is going on...

Next is GYPSY and RENT. That is CRAZY.

EDIT #4

All My Sons is coming back! Yes!

Best Direction- Musical
I really had no preference. All were great. Bartlett Sher wins for South Pacific and is kind of boring.

Gypsy performance:

I am so dying right now.

Okay, I just sat stunned in silence while Patti blew me away with her talent.

And then there was Phantom, which I was angered by (sorry, Kirryn!) until it was a parody with Whoopi, which was kind of hysterical.

Mel Says: That's Mandy Patinkin?! I thought it was just a homeless man they invited in to watch!

EDIT #5
The year in plays...

I saw most of those! Aww, look, it's Duncan Sheik! He is such a cute little dork.

Best Score
In The Heights!! Yay!! I so want to see this, actually. Hahaha, everyone is freaking out.

HE IS RAPPING. I LOVE HIM.

Ew, it's Harry Connick, Jr. , aka, "Buttface."

South Pacific performance:
Hmmm. It's good, but I'm still not convinced it's as good as Gypsy or Sunday.

Daniel Radcliffe looks so bored... Go home, Daniel.

Edit #6
Gina Torres has been spotted! She is present!

Best Supporting Actress- Musical

Cheno! Looks so classy!

Mel Says: Ha! I love how they're playing "Popular", good job there!

Aww, Cheno, you are SO dorky. And giggly. And hilarious.

LAURA!!! LAURA!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! YOUR DRESS IS AMAZING!! YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL!! AND ADORABLE AND NERVOUS AND GEEKY AND YOU ARE SO CUTE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!

Grease performance:
I cannot take this seriously, because I can't stop thinking about Ziskin taking Maddie and Lane to see "GREASEONBROADWAY!" as they put it, and he did. Also, I hate this show. A lot. The only okay part of it is Rizzo.

Mel Says: I know! It's so ridiculous! It's just a bunch of people combing their hair! And what is the moral? If you wear tight slutty leather you will get the guy! Change for your men, girls, you know you want to! Doooooo iiitttt!!

EDIT #7
I love Brooke Shields, but I am not a fan of that dress.

Best Supporting Actor- Musical

BOYYYYD!!! You are so fabulous!! And like, the happiest man in the world! I just love you so much!

Mel Says: Goddamn, Arthur Laurents is going to die, like, tonight! (and then about Boyd) Aww, what a spazz!

Little Mermaid performance, what the shit:

This is so retarded and bad, I cannot deal. Get of the goddamn rollerskates.

A Catered Affair performance:

This looks boring. Okay, that was boring. And not good singing.

Young Frankenstein performance:

Whoa, Megan Mullaly's boob was about ready to COME OUT. Eh, not a fan.

Mel Says: Okay, we get it, you like his penis! God!

Hahahah, oh look, now it's Kate Walsh's UNNECESSARILY SEXUAL car ad. Goddamn.

Mel Says: Hahah, you know what's soon, Shae, Rent is soon!

EDIT #8
Aww, it's my Kerry Butler!

OH SHIT IT IS RENT TIME.

Time for me and Mel to regress!

Well, actually, nevermind, it is actually scenic design. Or best play. Whichever.

Actually, it's...

Best Direction- Play
AUGUST: OSAGE! YEAH! That show seriously is unbelievable.

Spamalot, what the hell. Oh, it's another one of those weird things. God.

Mel Says: Is it AIDS o'clock, yet?

EDIT #9

Mary-Louise!! I love you! Hahah, she just, like, doesn't care.

Best Actor- Play
Who the hell is this guy? He's from Boeing-Boeing... I don't know what the hell is going on right not, seriously. The whole audience is like, What the fuck?

ACTORS are SO WEIRD, GUYS. I seriously, don't know what just happened.

Ahaha, Alec Baldwin.

Mel Says: He has gotten so fat oh man.

Best Actress- Play

I AM SO CONFLICTED about this DAMN CATEGORY I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.

DEANNA DUNNIGAN! I kind of secretly wanted Eve Best to win hardcore, but that was never going to happen, so. Man, I love her. I think I love her more in the show, though, whereas Eve Best is awesome at everything she does. Amy Morton also rocks, dude.

Ew, I hate it when they start to play people off.

In The Heights performance:
Oh man, I want to see this show so badly. This looks like the greatest thing ever.

FRODO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

As Mel Says, this is pretty much the Latin Rent. SO COOL. I dig rapping. And this dancing is TIGHT. Okay, Mel and I are seeing it.

EDI #10

HAHAHAHAHA, DAN RADCLIFFE. This is the funniest shit ever.

And now it's Best Play.

Best Play
August! Man, I wanted you to win so bad! So excited! That may be one of the best shows I've ever seen.

I love you so much, Tracy Letts. Damn, that is a large crowd. I think the whole cast is up there!

MANDYYYYYYY. God, he really does look like a homeless man.

Dude, where is Sondheim! I wanted him to be there so bad to accept his award! Is he being a sociopath or something?

Mel Says: Hahah, he's probably at home eating popcorn and laughing.

OH, IT'S the SUNDAY performance now!

Man, that brought me back... I kind of wished they'd picked a different song, though.

HAHAHA, Moritz Whoopi. That was pretty great.

EDIT #11

Best Revival- Musical
South Pacific? Really? Are we kidding, here? Gypsy and Sunday were so much hotter, man.

Xanadu performance! Will Testa be in it? I love Testa!

Dude, did Lily Tomlin just spoil the Tonies?!?!

Hahahaha, I love Kerry! She is skating around with one skate!

Mel Says: This is the gayest thing I have ever seen in my life.

TESTA. TESTA ON THE LEFT. That's Mr. Ziskin's friend, guys! I love her!

EDIT #12

EVERYONE KNOWS IT IS AIDS O'CLOCK.
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Whoa. I have no idea what is going on right now. They just cut like ALL of La Vie Boheme!

YES, the original cast is actually here! We were afraid they weren't going to come.
FREDI IT IS FREDI OH MY GOD. And Daphne actually looks kind of normal! Is something wrong with Wilson? He looks like he's dying!

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Where is Jesse L. Martin? Where is he?

HAHAHA PATTI IS CLAPPING AND I JUST PEED MYSELF. HAHAHAH GEORGES SEURAT IS SINGING.

Dude, they love each other so much, man.

Mel Says: So, apparently, Jesse has ascended into heaven again, where he belongs.

I have to laugh, too because Mel and I were like, "What if the rest of the cast, like, didn't feel like showing up, and it's just Anthony." And then it was just Anthony for a bit, and we died.

Oh, Liza.

Best Actor- Musical
Oh, god, South Pacific, AGAIN. What is this? I think every time Kellie O'Hara is in a classic musical the Tonies wind up being all wonky.

Aw, man. David Hyde Pierce.

BEST ACTRESS- MUSICAL

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I AM SHAKING.

Me: Hahaha, everyone knows she should win.
Mel Says: She's like, "Shyeah. Sorry, I can't hear you over the sounds of how awesome I am."

PATTI PATTI PATTI PATTI PATTI PATTI PATTI PATTI PATTI. FUCK. YES.

Patti, I love you so hardcore. Oh my god. Dude, she just pulled out TWO PAGES. Oh man, this will be awhile. She deserves it, man. Dude, they are NOT playing her off. Shut the hell up.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. PATTI I LOVE YOU.

EDIT #13

Best Musical!
IN THE HEIGHTS! YES! They are all SO geeky and adorable.

Oh, wow, that producer looks quite a bit like Anne Coulter.

Everyone is so happy! HAHAHA, I love HIM! He is on someone's shoulders!

Okay, and that is the end.

This was fun.

Aww, that was enjoyable. A good Tony Awards, I would say.